I haven’t written anything personal in almost two years. This is not a guide on how to walk the West Highland Way. It’s not in chronological order and does not explore the benefits of ‘Wanderlust’ and ‘finding yourself’. It’s just a few notes on what I found remarkable and wanted to get down in writing…
24/7 Rick
No frills, handy for the hills – that’s the way you spell New Mills
Untitled
Along the Mersey river lies hints of coastal life. Walkways forked along the bank kick up sand and silt. Tempered winds rosy the cheeks and make your nose run when you hit warmer air. The path on Tuesday mornings exists almost exclusively for solitary males – walking dogs or just being alone with one’s troubles….
The Boiler
In the early 2010s, I was highly skeptical towards any new music. Trapped in a cycle of half a dozen artists with no intention of diversifying, I moaned to my mate about how there were ‘no good new bands’, how lyrics now played second fiddle to riffs, that the salad days were behind us etc…
Henny Penny
Remember, 99% of anything anyone tells you is a lie. Don’t let the demons get you – they got to me. Chieftain Mews I originally began writing this on the 5th April, but left it unfinished because I was struggling to find a story to a) make it current and b) link the below accounts…
Lockdown Machine
“The 2010s, whatever the fuck they’re called, we took ‘em off”. Julian Casablancas With the release of The New Abnormal earlier this month, I finally feel that a decent miscellany can be forged from The Strokes’ last four albums/EPs. I’ve included my choices in the below playlist: See, not all doom and gloom is it?
Send in the Superforecasters
Last month, a former Downing Street adviser and Boris Johnson’s chief adviser drew lots of attention to ‘superforecasting’, by being a bit weird, as well as being linked to unsavoury quotes such as: “compulsory contraception could be used to stop a “permanent underclass”. Andrew Sabisky Since then, other superforecasters have come out to defend the…
Idiom-teque
“We are accidents waiting to happen”. – There, There This is something I’ve thought about writing for some time, and have only just found the willingness to put a comprehensive list together. I’ve listened to Radiohead almost incessantly for the best part of my adolescence and beyond, initially fascinated by the lyrical output, but more…
Zero Hour
A XXL t-shirt with a union flag and stretched black text which reads ‘Two World Wars, One Referendudum’ [sic], a giant cake of the Elizabeth Tower, hands poised at 11:00pm, Julie from Warrington garbling half-truths from red-top rags live on the ‘BBC Propaganda machine’. Many of the people interviewed on Sky and the BBC couldn’t…
Platform 13
Jostle for position I’ve had it with you You can stick your backpack And Brompton too.
Piccadilly
This morning – in a Piccadilly train station doorway – two men inject themselves with heroin in full view of rushing, drenched commuters. Barely a second glance or turned head – a population desensitised by the new accepted reality. The sense of helplessness apparent in every passing figure. “It is hopeless, an easier triumph would…
McVitie’s Bickies
Digestives, Gingers, Hobnobs, Rich Tea, Surrounded by red brick, just down from me, Before Crossley Road and the Golden Sea, Holds the legacy of Bobby McVitie. Stop at the lights, take in the smell and the sights, As the A6 turns into cooked biscuit delight, The aroma of sugar, salt, chocolate and dough, Come together…
Bomb Dogs
There’s a new trend sweeping through Williamson Park’s dog-walking community. Small flashing bike lights now hang from the collar of every mongrel and pure-breed from Fenham Carr to the Chinese monument. They reminded me of little anti-tank dogs, with their harnesses and blinkers, running towards you with their wagging tales and lolling tongues – blissfully…
The House That FAC Built
Shuffling feet Down Oldham Street This is their Everest Another stride from bed rest (or another score) Then into the Tempest once more The town that FAC built – now no more Than vinyl quotes on window panes “A city that thinks a table is for dancing on” And a pavement for spewing on Then…
Les Trentes Glorieuses
Found this in my drafts from a few years ago – must have been riding on the crest of a wave, or kissing the cotton clouds. “The thing is love, right…” … but we have already made it clear that we’re not interested in idle conversation, and begin rigorously counting our pocket change in a…
We have become very efficient at crossing roads
We have become very efficient at crossing roads. Paced to perfection to reach the curb half a second before the car passes. One hesitation and it’s curtains, but if you get really good at it, you can even afford a satisfying look at the driver, knowing full well that you’re home and dry and there’s…
In the Dead Zone
In the Dead Zone, time is fluid it seems Between weathered wealth and stoney faces Show the bones of Valette dreams, And expose history – mare to man, pulling to pushing One’s courting is another’s brushing One sits doubled on the concrete cushion. “The President is a son-of-a-bitch. I’m Christopher Walken”. Over and over. Ears…
Toothpicks
Three days after the initial Brexit withdrawl date, I’m sat in a café, sandwiched between a couple and a group of friends. Two table orders have been mixed up, both omlettes – one served with fried mushrooms, the other with grilled peppers. The man who ordered grilled peppers made it known to the server straightaway,…
The Dame Gracy
The social landscape of Manchester city centre is a continuously evolving/morphing/gentrifying entity (depending on your inclination, you can remove the terms you find unworthy). Ancoats in particular – once labelled ‘ruinous‘ by Fredrich Engels in a 19th century account – has shown insidious yet ingenious invention in developing a new micro-economy on the fringe of…
Pitch Black Heist
Before the Manchester Film Festival, there was the Greater Manchester Film Festival, founded by Festival Director Simon Powell and Marketing Director Vikas Shah. Simon came to us with an irritation, perplexed that Greater Manchester ‘did not have its own film festival’, and that he intended to change this in 2012. The festival showcased three days…
Gilets Jaunts
Beside a small passageway on the 18th arrondissement sits a sculpture of ‘Gregos’, a prominent French graffiti artist whose face has been replicated in plaster over 1,000 times and embedded in walls, frames and signposts across Paris. This particular model, at the entrance of the Passage des Abbesses, is painted over with the French tricolore…
This House
After a shift in 2012, I caught a live-stream of James Graham’s ‘This House’, broadcast from the Royal National Theatre. Two scenes in particular struck me at the time and stayed with me for six years. The first was how a camera on guide ropes was used to swoop in over the Commons benches during…
Tesla Town
About 18 months ago, my only notion about the existence of Oslo was that it was filled with incredibly friendly people and expensive beer. The account came from my parents, who travelled around the fjords a few years ago. I had no burning desire to visit, having been relatively ignorant of its history and culture….
Manc Delusion
“Ring-a-ding-ding regime change A long way overdue But the dogs are gone and it’s pale and strange With a whole new kind of you” — John Cooper Clarke My mate Ste and I stood with our backs to the wall in the innards of Mayfield Depot, waiting for the bard of Salford to take the…
Ceramics and Bulls
Where Madrid’s travel routine involved a 45 minute round trip into the centre of town, Seville’s short stay could not have been more immersed. Many of the World’s top cities have come under fire in recent years over their endorsement (or lack of intervention) in the vacation rental market. 5 years ago, Airbnb was far…
Madrid
Word to the wise, if you want to stay central when visiting Madrid, book early! On the contrary, do as ourselves and venture out a little. We stayed in Coslada, a interesting municipality with its own identity and strangely youthful population. Away from the tourist eye, it provided early respite before heading into the busy…
Mars
What’s the big infatuation with Mars? Talk about running away from your responsibilities. Have we sniffed out some oil? It’s hundreds of millions of miles away, takes months to get to and hasn’t been proven to sustain life. Not to mention it’s pretty dull. Very dull, actually. There’s probably not much to do beyond drawing…
There goes the neighbourhood
In 2010, George Monbiot partook in a risque comparison between newly released blockbuster ‘Avatar’, and a period of history of which I had no prior comprehensive knowledge of: the 17th Century European-orchestrated genocide of Native Americans (ooh, that’s a bit wordy and forbidding) also known as the ‘Civilisation of the Western Hemisphere’ (much better). Between…
Americana
“Do you want the 32-ounce, or the large?” “Shit, how big is that large?” “You goin’ to want to pull yer car ’round back, I goin’ start the pump”. Bill Hicks viewed his country through the eyes of a travelling Englishman, who saw the ridiculousness in America’s fixation with excess, and exposed it in a…
Et tu, Britain?
Over the past week, I have seen many aspects of the political sprectrum at its worst. The deception, the propaganda, the outright lies. A population torn, a cabinet destroyed, a currency devalued and a future undecided. Neither campaign particularly covered themselves in glory, using all too familiar tactics to persuade, scare and grovel (I’m pretty sick of…
A note on neologisms
Occasionally a newly coined word, phrase or acronym derived from the Internet will make its way into everyday conversation. It’s a form of dialogue which I have yet to come to terms with. I find it downright bizarre when a respectable media outlet popularises a term which originated online, usually conceived on a Reddit or…
Swan Upping [Part 1]
Amidst the ongoing economic resurgence of Manchester, something lurking in the city’s underbelly is beginning to ruin Osborne and Wharton’s tea party. Ali explained the concept of ‘Swan Upping’ to me this weekend – the annual census of the swan population. It’s a majestic and well regulated tradition, dating back to the twelfth century, when…
The Bees – Laline Paull
‘The Bees’ by Laline Paull is the kind of book I dreamt of writing as a child. But rather than Apis, Aves were my infatuation at the time. Hand in hand with my mother, my short walk to school included a stroll along a beck, home to a variety of lower classification birds. I was…
The end of Peep Show: What’s next for British Sitcom?
It may not be the most pressing issue at the moment, but the harsh fact is that Peep Show is kaput, leaving a requiem of great British comedies in its wake. Admittedly, the long-standing series had run its course, and I think most would agree that the time was right to wrap it up –…
The King of Spin
While the public still await the outcome of the ‘Chilcot Inquiry’ into our country’s last illegitimate conflict, and before we have even established the official name of our enemy (is it ISIS, ISL, I.S, Daesh?), the UK have already began their next pursuit into uncharted territory with a fresh bombing campaign in Syria. You…
Planning your ‘root’
My Grandad was one of the most fascinating, yet innate beings I have ever known. He had an intellectual mystique of which he called upon on demand, sometimes to enlighten one of a particular topic subject, often to contest and correct a previous remark. It was the most sinister form of rhetoric, but usually went…
Canis Majoris
Let me be clear from the start. Dogs can be a handful, especially when those who purchase one have little more than a dewy-eyed reference of what it takes to look after pets. There seems to be a perception that usually comes about through frequent viewings of generic family films where the parents, ‘Daddy’ (wearing…
The Maxim Gun 