There’s a new trend sweeping through Williamson Park’s dog-walking community. Small flashing bike lights now hang from the collar of every mongrel and pure-breed from Fenham Carr to the Chinese monument. They reminded me of little anti-tank dogs, with their harnesses and blinkers, running towards you with their wagging tales and lolling tongues – blissfully unaware of their fate.

To my disappointment, there were no little red lights hanging from their tails.